A few days ago, I wrote a test on OkCupid called The Star Wars Personality Test, and it is already being passed around and discussed!

So why not take it and tell me what you got! All feedback welcome.

I think I’ve got a great idea for a new product, in the tradition of the Internet fridge: the electric toothbrush/MP3 player!

Make brushing fun: through vibrating bristles positioned for the best audio fidelity in hard-to-reach places, get your favourite songs piped directly into your skull!

Brilliant!

Apparently, even a manic Scientologist can see the writing on the wall when it comes to the imminent crash-and-burn of a hitherto successful Hollywood career. Tom Cruise has finally fired his sister as his publicist and instead hired a pro to do an emergency fix-it job.

Cruise has dumped the charity side of his career on his sister as a trade-off. This is not a minor task, dear reader:

I know how important Tom’s charitable goals are to him, and I am looking forward to assisting in raising the profile of the good works that he does on behalf of children’s health issues, mentoring, literacy and other social reforms, as well as the general betterment of the human condition.

Tom can also turn water into wine as a party trick.

So I’m hearing about these Paris riots, and I keep thinking, “Shit, these Hilton heirs are out of control!“

Scooter — the slime involved in the Plame scandal in the U.S., not the muppet — is a bit of a writer, it seems. According to the New Yorker, his 1996 novel The Apprentice includes such topics as…

lice, snot, drunkenness, bad breath, torture, urine, “turds,” armpits, arm hair, neck hair, pubic hair, pus, boils, and blood (regular and menstrual).

(It certainly sheds new light on Donald Trump’s reality TV show; I personally think Rockstar:INXS would have been much better had Ty tortured a drunken Marty by making him sniff his bad breath and armpits.)

Frankly, the novel sounds quite good/sick/depraved, but I think I could do better. Here’s a quick attempt:

Sheila grabbed his massive shaft with her powerful grip — being an acrobatic circus midget had given her strong hands, and she knew how that turned him on. But Rover only responded by licking her face, clearly hungry after the morning hunt.

It was at that point that Jimmy, the blind amputee awoke. “Sheila? Can you put Rover’s harness on? I need to go and buy some smack.”